17TH BLOOD MOON

"i feel so so lucky !!!! thank you world for the best company and weather and the taste of salt in my mouth and hair dripping and running across grass and laughing and falling from spinning in circles and circles as the world is whisked into a blurry mess that i adore and i feel dizzy and giddy and i can’t work out how my heart can hold so much love and expand with so much more and the moon is the colour of blood and we sit in the sand and paddle in the pool and jump off rocks and shiver and we dive under the water and dance and watch sparkling eyes and the sounds of laughter bubbling from my friends and my heart expands and squeal when we step on bindis and friends with cold hands and warm smiles and eating cold chips and sitting in one big huddle like penguins and limbs entwined and dodging waves and my heart keeps expanding im feeling alive and so so lucky 29.09.15" - From my instagram @antleredfawn

HEARTS LIKE OURS

It can be hard to capture that crisp summer air, the void of the night sky and the brief and blurry day to day laughs. But when you do - you can look back and grin at the times where you know that despite it all, with these people by your side you're set for the twisty turns of the rabbit hole that is life.

Stumbling across a pool of sunlight that warms your face and makes you feel at ease can't be measured with dollar signs or rankings of any sort, and that simple fact never ceases to comfort me while simultaneously motivating me to keep expanding what I know and can feel. To take notice of the things that bother me and actively do my bit for positive change. To remind myself that sometimes its okay to stop the task that I've started, to dance with my sister, or run outside to see the full moon and go on adventures.

I know the upcoming school terms at times will overwhelm me. My body will go into shock and I won't know how to stay on track. For regular readers you may've noticed I often dedicate posts to future versions of myself. I guess it's because the best person you can have supporting you is yourself. At least for me, the biggest hurdles are often mental conflictions or familiar feelings of procrastination, detachment and while a spiderweb of support can do so much, its only you living in your head.

So this is getting quite lengthy, but I want to end with a few words of advice. Turn negative energy into a positive driving force. If it builds up, release it through running or crazy dancing. Remember school counts but also remember the marks aren't what you'll be looking back to in 10 years. Learning to function with knots in your stomach and being there for your friends, family and yourself.

All this is corny as a corn field but tonight the universe feels especially big - voids can be scary but they also mean infinite possibilities. We've got this!

- N xx

TO MY FUTURE SELF

A letter to my future self (& to others in similar situations);

The next few years come with a label of hard work, mental breakdowns and a heaving stressed out brain. Looking forward, it's assuredly daunting yet with that tingly sensation of unmarked terrain it brings excitement in the shape of fear. I want to tell this part of me in the future, whether I be (likely) panicking, stressed, hysterical or depressed - that I believe in you. And yes that's easy to say when I'm sitting safely nestled in the past, and you're carrying the baton but I know that soon enough you'll be sitting drinking an iced coffee with me and we'll be able to shake our heads and cheer on countless future versions of ourselves.

First, let me please remind you that no matter how tough life is appearing to be - the world in not yet ending. Of course human destruction of the planet will hit us with its consequences sooner than we think, but these deadlines and cramming will not physically destroy you or the universe.

Remember that you don't need a new year, a new week or sunrise to start again. Wherever you are in whatever state, all you need to do is take a big lungful of air then slowly release and the slate is clean. Let it clear your head and focus your energy on one task at a time. I know you well, and so far you've been a little bit lazy, tending to let things build up till they overwhelm and if this begins to happen just reset your sights and take one bridge at a time, word by word. It's another step in this life adventure and we'll give it all we've got.

You've got this, I promise.

- N xx

CLEAN SLATE

Welcome to 2015 Fawnlings!

It's been two years blogging and though it's certainly taken commitment and effort I can happily say that I love it. I hit 30,000 page hits last night and although personally it's a sweet little milestone, to me the most fascinating aspect is seeing where they all come from. I haven't travelled to most of the countries you're all from but to think there's people from around the globe that take the time to read Antlered Fawn every once in a while takes my breath away. Just this morning I've had readers from Netherlands, Taiwan, Germany, Ireland, Canada & Poland - I really can't put into words how much that blows my mind. 

For me, this is a platform to show parts of my life whether it's outings or keeping up with friends while traveling. Thank you to every single one of you whether you're subscribed or a one time visitor. I still can't believe anyone keeps up with my fairly average day-to-day life and I just wish I could give you all massive hugs and do silly things like have movie marathons together or go swimming at night.

I hope the new year brings us closer and I'll be putting more energy and love into Antlered Fawn. It's been odd to talk about in an actual post but heck, I love you all so much. 

These photos were taken after watching the sunrise in New Years at the beach and I hope that some of what I was feeling travels through the photos and hugs you in the heart. A little hopeful, a little scared and a lot excited; here's to a good one; here's to 2015!

Yours affectionately,

- N x